today..im gonna be a bit emotional in writings..
Days goes by without me realizing its already near febuary,month to cherished our love ones..huh u noe wat before this i used to loveeee v'day..but since this year i'll be celebrating with friends instead of him*u noe wat i mean*..yupp its kinda sad to think that im not gonna have that "special treatment from him"this year..to tell u the truth ive been missing him every beats of my heart. even tho everyday i will eventually see him.. deep down inside me i still cant resist seeing him face to face..im just not ready to face him as my friend..huhu like seriously,i still dunno where to find the strength..ive been searching for it like forever..!!!!
From his pov he thinks that i already move on..im stronger than him..all he sees are lies lies that are put into action soo that i wont be down..u think its easy my dear??no it isnt...ok?get it!! im pretending to be ok..but hell im not..i keep telling my self to be optimist just about everything soo that each day i went to class i wont be having the puffy eyes n emotional breakdown..im soo thnkfull that i have them*my guppies my friends*..because of them i stand tall as u can see..i can laugh i can eat i can smile i can do my work..i need to...i force my self...its not that i want to be happy in front of u..n share the world my happiness that im free without u..please hunney dun get me wrong ok???ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS..
i just want you to be strong..just strong to get through this...n i noe u can..at least do it for me..if ur strong then i would be strong as well..o0o yeah.u noe whats bothering me rite now.the way u treat me before n after we drift apart.ur making me hurt deeply inside..i just dunno why u have to do that..everytime i feel that im ready to move on..at that will be the time u keep doing the things*huhu ur making me feel worse than before u noe..im feeling that im the bad one..ok?? its not fair u noe.. putting me in that kind of situation..it hurts badddddlyy..im soo sorry if i treated u kinda bad or in a nicer way i just dun want to be soo clinging to u..im afraid i will never be independent.and everything i need to tell u like before...huhuh eventho its the hardest part to do becos u noe i used to msej u just about everything ..n i MISSS IT a lot..!! lots!! lots!! but im trying hard u noe to be a big gurl since im no ones baby or sayang anymore..hehe..chaiyok riena!!
finished with my heart aching love life story morry...now let me tell u hows my life as student n future teacher,hehe kinda weird im a gonna be a teacher in 3 years time.hahha if u noe me definitely u cn see i dun really have the quality to be a teacher.trust me..im short i look like a junoir high school student haha..but one thing that im sure about it..that this is the right path for me.coz.I LOVEEE KIDS!! i just love being around them..so cute naive innocent..thats why GOD put me in this teaching field coz he knows that whats the best for me..im loving every bits of it..i noe study is tiring especially when u sign a contract for six years of study English..just to be an English teacher in primary school..its sure sound like soo damn lame..the truth is im already in my fourth years waaaahh i yg blaja raser cepat jerk time pass by u noe..six years same as taking doctor heheh....never mind..im gonna serve the nation soo i need to have the six years of knowledge.*bieng optimist!!*.haha soo not gonna applied it in school...heheh too many theories too many subject to remember n to put it into practice..i just dunno if i can recalled or even remember what i studied haha..i study for short term memory jerk!!for the sake of examination!
for this semester..it just started soo it like suam2x kuku..je nothink much..but i noe there soo much things to do for this semester..ade workshop lagik..have to go to school again.!!yeah!!!its fun to meet with real students and mingle around with them..adorable nye tak sabar but there would be hell lots of preparation..to do before we go school..assignment lots lots n more coursework.haha mmg suker sgt laaaa kehidupan yg hectic..quiz lagik...pergh too much nk pk n buat at one time huhu!! im just hoping that i will get through this semester.successfully...other then that..this semester last duduk uma besh nie..we have to search for new house to rent for next semester..coz next semster my class wil be in UM fully..carik uma lagik huhuh near bangsar n pantai dalam..sedeyh nye nk tggal kn uma skrunk nie...it soooo comfy..cozyyy....semua laaa lengkap "fully furnished"i mmg da biase di manjekn ngn keselesaan huhuh im soo pampered i noe.huh.i dunno if we will ever find a house as fine as this!!mesti lagik expensive there..cost living tiggi...huhu carik duet..kt mane gamaknye...!!!!okieh laaa better stop...its longg already..im soo emo in my writings i noe why..unbalanced hormone...next time i'll coret more ok...
have a nice day.....
wowieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! "today me n my guppies gonna meet someone we've always wanted to meet i noe im excited..thrilled..and everything laaa..dorg pon same!!!!hopefully dapat jumpe face to face..mesti teruja giller punya..mest amek gambar!!!!!! i'll upload it later k?? if rajin mlm nie gak i'll upload it!!n u all will noe whom ive been talking about k...
"sorry for my rojak bahase ye..."