insecurity

from the topic of my blog u wud guess why..
well its not exactly how i feel..
for now
its a mixture of feeling..
lately ive been goin out again with ex..
i dunno whether im stupid or what.
i dun really know the exact feeling when im with him
all i know that he makes me happy.
happiness for me now its like my 1st priority.

ive been starting my life as a teacher
it sure is hard being a teacher
espcially practicum teacher.
neway theres up and down..
so i have to deal with it.

ive been thinking..
actually not think but
something strikes me
why do we need confirmation..
whether we are an item or not?
or is he the one for me..
or does he has the same feeling as me.
gossh lots in my mind..
everything starts with a WHY!!
if he cant think what are the situation we are in..
is it his problem or mine?
its giving me a headache..
sampai bilaa nak macam nie
i hate the fact that i cant say that i own him
and i cant say that he is my bf..
i dunn want any status or anything..
i just feel insecure plus..theres no ending to my WHY question.
at last it just stop there without any penyelesaian..
trouble me!
what if i start to fall for him.which sucks ouhh gosh..
i hate the feeling.of thinking he would feel the same
but the reality he doesnt..

anyway..
im stuck..
stupid me....
i think i shud move on..
or else im still stuck in the same situation for two years in a row
without any confirmation or how..
it wud still be the same...nothing much change.
im like still an old teddy bear looking for his secure but then i was not meant to be with him
from the beginning.

till then

~withloveriena~